Helen is 35-years old, a marketing executive and a recent divorcee, after ten years of marrid life. . She describes herself as a casual chic kinda of girl. “If it’s not comfortable, there’s no way I’m wearing it.” She adds that she is does the barest amount of make up. Hel en loves “yoga, journaling, relaxing with friends, and checking out new movies.” She says “I’m passive in some ways, but I know what I want. I’m gentle, sensible. I have a quirky sense of humour.”
I’m quite newly single after getting divorced recently. My wish list is simple: a man who is confident, loves life, is mature but has an inner child, and is financially stable. Nothing like I need his money, I just need him to be able to carry his own weight. Call it my newest OCD.
Matthew and I met on a dating site. He sent the first message and we chatted. He seemed smart, ambitious, and funny. After a few days, he gave me his phone number and we took the conversation offline. We seemed to have a connection, and made plans to have dinner in a few days to find out if it was real. Before we could get to that, though, one obstacle stood in our way: New Year’s Eve.
New Year’s is the next most dreaded occasion for singles, right up there by Valentine’s Day. My plans were to go away on a wellness retreat with some girls. Matthew had another first date planned.
Instead of going away, I bailed and stayed in the city to do yoga, have a bath and treat myself at home, and maybe meet up with a girlfriend. I did none of the things on my list, I just chilled and I loved the alone time. While I was home relaxing, I got a text from Matthew, who was on his first date, with another lady (remember, where we met?).
It said “With crazy babe now . . . Save me.” We exchanged a few more texts before I headed out to meet a friend for a quiet celebration of the new year and I got more updates…sorry more text messges from Matthew on his date. Matthew had “escaped” his date early and asked if I wanted to meet for a drink. Being a persistent guy, he then suggested a drink at my house, and then quickly retracted, saying that it was a bit much to ask for.
The fact that Matthew was so persistent in a “flirtatious but not needy” way was particularly attractive to me. He was confident enough to push the boundaries, but didn’t pressure me in any way. It was definitely a “take a chance on me” decision. And I must say, taking that chance looked attractive to me.
The banter continued for a bit over text and he confirmed that he wasn’t an axe murderer, which I totally believed. I gave him my address. I realize it was a risky move, but I have learned to let my instincts guide me. So far they haven’t led me too far astray.
He arrived at my house at about 1:30, and I knew my instincts had not let me down. He gave me a friendly hug and a sheepish smile and I invited him in. We compared notes about our evenings; his with the crazy babe and mine with my friend and my alone time. What a contradiction to the bubbling and exciting atmosphere right outside my doors.
To get in on the cheer of the new year, we cracked open a bottle of wine to toast to new beginnings, the new year, and our super-spontaneous first meeting. We talked and talked, about relationships and other things, and before we knew it, it was four in the morning. I don’t think we even realized how tired we both were. Not being sure about the taxi situation at that hour, we decided that it would be best to catch some sleep. We woke up a few hours later, and he left early on New Year’s Day.
We had our originally planned dinner date later that day. It was a much more “normal” first date. Food was delicious, company was great and we continued to get acquainted throughout the evening. It was good. He was fully attentive, and no, he wasn’t texting during our date, nor did he make any moves to escape. We have another date to catch a movie planned in the near future. Wish my luck with this one.
Referenced from https://www.thestar.com/life/2016/02/06/dating-diaries-eileen-and-max.html