The only time I was ever a maid of honour was during my first year in school, to my bestie of life, Ebere. We had gone to the same secondary school and we were both book addicts (I refuse to be called a worm). We would swap books in our libraries. She was one girl whom my mom never asked what she was doing in our house, she knew and no one needed to tell her where my book shelf was. Anyways, her books were there too.
I would sometimes go to their house and you would think we would both be gisting and all, like most girls. For wia? You would most likely find us with our noses in books, lost in whatever dream land the author had painted.
When she told me she was getting married, I will admit I was shocked. She was the last person I would have expected to marry young. But she said she had fallen in love with a man and he would like to marry her soon and he had promised that she would continue with her school, even while married. I guess that bit swayed her parents, as they agreed to the marriage.
So, we ditched our novels for a few months to plan the wedding, and though it was unexpected, she told me I was going to be her maid of honour. I asked why her older sister wasn’t doing the honours, but she couldn’t because she would be away at school for most of the months and weeks leading up to the wedding and so wouldn’t be able to do her duties as the maid of honour. So the onus fell on me.
Even though my duties were nowhere as it is expected of maids of honour nowadays, I remember how we traipsed Balogun market for the right materials for the bride and groom, shoes, bags, accessories and then my own dress and shoes. Let’s just say we were going back and forth for some weeks. And on the wedding day, I was left, right and centre, attending to the needs of my bride. It was a fun day. We danced took pictures. Selfies were not the in thing at that time, so, no selfies, but it was really an enjoyable day.
The next day, my mom did not even bother to wake me to go to school. Incidentally, it was the week my school scheduled our matriculation. I did not go oh. I was tired in a good way, but I still took my matriculation pictures with my hair style from my bestie’s wedding.
So, how can you be the best maid of honour for your bride? Here’s how!
Realize the responsibility
First of all, take a quick five seconds to mentally pat yourself on the back for being such a good friend that you were given this privilege over anyone else. It doesn’t matter if you aren’t the only choice, or even the first choice, like I wasn’t. It’s still nice to be thought about like that.
Being chosen as the maid of honour for a family member or a close friend’s wedding is a big deal. So realize that it is indeed a responsibility, and that it could be one of the most difficult tasks you have ever embarked on.
Cater to the bride
Never forget it! Your business is the bride and no one else, except that person is trying to distress your bride.
Since you are now the maid of honour, you will be required to be available to her more than ever before. You are going to have to centre the months leading up to the wedding, around appointments that may have no emotional importance to you, but mean a lot to her. So, be prepared!
You are going to have to be her brain for the day. She’s going to forget to grab extra bobby pins because she didn’t think her hair would fall, and she might forget to use the bathroom before climbing into the over-the-top wedding gown she chose. The best thing you can do to avoid all chaos is to suggest extra everything! Always stay steps ahead by carrying enough things for the both of you. If you’re bringing lotion to the hotel, bring her some, too.
Don’t take anything too personally
Chances are you two have been friends for a while and have a long history together; however, chances are also that things won’t go perfectly and there could be tears.
When that happens, don’t see it as having anything to do with you. Don’t take it as a failure on your part. It just happened! Just make sure to remember that she isn’t being mean or snotty on purpose. She is on an emotional roller coaster; weddings can do that to a bride, just be ready to keep telling her and reminding her that everything will be okay in the end, even if you don’t know.
Don’t take anything personally and keep in mind how important this day is to her.
On the day of the wedding, the best thing you can do for your bestie is to have fun! In addition to her husband’s emotions, your bestie-bride will be feeding off your energy and emotions.
So, do all your best to have fun, it doesn’t matter if things are not going as planned, just look like you are having fun, get her to laugh, smile and take her mind off of the fact that there are not enough petals for the flower girls or the car holding her second dress is stuck in traffic somewhere on the Island. Smile, and make you frantic calls away from her sight. If she catches you freaking out, she might start to feel anxious too, so be strong.
Stay in love!
Kristine is a member of The Lovelint team. She is a down to earth person, who says it as it is. Having given relationship advice for years in a national daily, she has found out that fear is one of the main reasons holding people back from enjoying a healthy, happy relationship. She is married with kids and is willing to listen to you and help as much as you let her to.