Dating Diaries: He Just Wanted To Get Laid – Sheila’s story

Sheila is a 28-year-old marketer.  She says “Karaoke is my big interest,” and likes attending sporting events and eating out. Sheila describes herself as “a bit bohemian – I like things that are pretty, but loose and comfortable.” She says: “I march to the beat of my own drum, you could say.”

“A while ago, I went out on two dates, both of them terrible, with Nicholas. Unbelievably, I agreed to go on a third date with him. He was attractive; I didn’t want to be alone on a Friday night; my grandfather had passed away, and I was looking for ways to distract myself from the emotional anguish and the by force family meeting my people were having.

I was also looking for a reason to dress up and get some time away from my parents, who I was living with
The beginning of the night started the way most third dates end. I picked him up as planned, and he asked me to come upstairs to see his apartment. I don’t know why I said yes; I guess I just wanted someone to pay attention to me, because I was so lonely. Immediately after we went upstairs, he came on to me. I squirmed out of his reach. He asked me in a joking way if I knew that I was a “tease.” I didn’t respond. Instead, I suggested we leave for our dinner plans.

At the restaurant on the other end of town, I sat across from him, watching him eat. Was it normal to want to bolt from the table every time your date says something? Maybe not. As this was our third date, and we knew a bit of information about each other — I had told Nicholas about a medical condition I have, and its various complications — and he started to ask me probing questions about it. He kept saying things like, “You’re so delicate” and “How could you live like that?” It was a strange way of showing concern. I felt myself sliding as far away from him as I could.

For a while I picked at my food, wondering if maybe my prince was somewhere else in this restaurant – not that I had ever met a prince in all these bank boys, I tend to date. I couldn’t help but think that if my grandfather knew whom I was going out on dates with, he would have risen from the earth and kicked the crap out of him.

I started thinking of ways to make a quick exit, but outside of praying for aliens to capture me, there weren’t many options. Wait! Nicholas knew I was in pain from a medical procedure earlier in the week; his anger over me cancelling on him for an earlier scheduled evening out was a clear hint that I should have taken. Since he thought I was so weak and pitiful, why not use it? I told him I wasn’t feeling well. Maybe sensing the night was ending, he started coming on to me again. At least it got him to walk me to my car. I kissed him goodbye, vowing to never date just for the sake of dating again.

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