“So, you mean you want to divorce this man because he loves you and shows you he loves you?” Those were the perplexed words of a divorce judge in a viral American reality show on relationships.
Alongside the entire court room, the judge was surprised that a woman wanted to leave her husband because he loves her, cooks for her, takes care of her, the children, allows her rest and such, which she finds smothering.
It was a second marriage for the two of them; the woman was coming from an abusive marriage, the man’s first marriage crashed because of some undisclosed reasons but he had vowed, he was going to do his best with his second marriage and that was exactly what he did. But his wife found him too good, too loving and worried it was only a façade, which will end one day, when he would raise his hands to her.
And that is the sad part. She has become so damaged, she would rather run away from a good man because of the notion that no man was really that good and that one day, he would show his true colours…whatever they were. The more he stayed true to his vows to be the best husband and cared for her, the more afraid she became.
There, she had exactly what most women wanted; a man who would worship the very ground on which they walked, one who would put their needs, both physical and emotional before his and yet, she was running away from him, because of a sad past experience.
Her loss, someone else’s gain, if you ask me, but I would rather she got some form of counselling to help her know, she deserves a good man and not just the dregs of manhood, who would strike her.
Interestingly, there are many women like her, who find it unbelievable they hit jackpot in the man’s stakes and some are living it up, appreciating their men and all the benefits that come with being with a good man.
So, for the sake of those, who have no idea what to look for in a man or how to know that man, who will never stop loving them, here are some crystal clear sign and please when you do see these signs, don’t go running away like the woman mentioned at the beginning of this article. If you don’t want him, fine, but please don’t damage him for the next woman, who would know his worth…thank you.
Here we go:
He wants to hang out with you . . . a LOT
When a man is texting, calling you every single day to see if you’d like to hang out, the simple truth is, you mean something to this guy. What exactly you mean is what you need to find out.
Because really, guys are notorious for disappearing in plain view, so, what could keep him so interested, he would not mind spending his data, airtime, just to reach out to you, even if you don’t respond half of the time, like on a Monday afternoon, when you had practically spent the weekend hanging out with him.
Babe, you have got a loving man on your arms and he wants to spend all his time with you.
He’s asking you for personal advice
Let’s face it, men are less likely to ask a woman what she thinks about his dressing and if he should try something else.
When he starts asking your opinion about his shoes and tie, what he should write in his brother’s birthday card, just know, he’s letting himself be vulnerable with you. Only a guy, who is drunk in love, asks all these questions.
In simple English, he wants to please you, not himself.
His friends are complaining about him
This is a very important sign and it shows how deep into you, he is. When you become an important part of his day-to-day life, there’s a good chance, some people have been displaced; his friends.
The fact that he’s taking time out of each day to catch up with you, planning weekly dates and being attentive to your needs are all signs that you’re becoming a priority in his life, a position his friends used to occupy, so when they start complaining about how he is just not available anymore and or becoming a softie, they’re actually making astute observations about subtle behavioural changes that you may not have picked up on.
Your guy is in love with you, so thank his friends because now you know your guy’s all putty in your hands.
Biko, don’t fall for the “our wife trick” though.
Sex isn’t the main factor for him
You see sex is important to a man, so when a man initiates a cuddling session and doesn’t let it move on to sex, just know you have got this man exactly where you want him. He’s a keeper.
That is not to say, he doesn’t like sex with you, but sex isn’t the reason he’s with you.
Far from sex, he wants to do so much more with you by his side — travel around the world! Climb Mount Everest, if that works for you, have fun, do naughty things like a half-birthday party…whatever that is for both of you. The possibilities are endless, as long as you are by his side.
He keeps you in mind when making major decisions
Unlike his chauvinistic forebears, he doesn’t make his decision and then tell you about it. He makes the decision WITH you.
He doesn’t take a new job without talking to you first. Or maybe he’s thinking about renting an apartment, but he wants to check in with you that the commute between your place and his will be OK or perhaps he wants you to move in with him! Or even that when you do get married, the commute to work wouldn’t be too stressful for you.
Major decisions like this have a bearing on your partnership, and he’s well aware of it, so he carries you along.
He talks about the future with you
When you bring up buying a house or getting engaged somewhere down the line, he doesn’t flee for the front door. He’s a keeper!
While, he doesn’t have to be 100 percent on board with big relationship steps, as long as he’s totally open to having a real conversation about them, him a keeper again.
So, these are signs you have got a good man on your hands, one who will never stop loving you and if he does, you have the power to reactivate that love. Yes you do! Love doesn’t just die like that.
Stay in love folks.
Kristine is a member of The Lovelint team. She is a down to earth person, who says it as it is. Having given relationship advice for years in a national daily, she has found out that fear is one of the main reasons holding people back from enjoying a healthy, happy relationship. She is married with kids and is willing to listen to you and help as much as you let her to.