This is usually the season singles feel so alone, because almost everyone else is coupled up, spending time with their loved ones, family and friends. So, singles are like the odd ones out. But did you know that this is also the season when break ups happen a lot?
Men want to ditch expenses of the season; hair, presents, clothes, and other expectations of the season. Also, even with all the cheer of the season, tempers can run high, trying to present a united front, even when there are issues in a relationship. Things can simply get heated, because you are not paying needed attention to your relationship, while lost in the moment.
While the signs may not be all too clear at times, that you’re headed for a break up over the Christmas period, the signs below say it loud and clear.
- You’re stressing each other out too often:
Beneath the veneer of good cheer and happiness, truth be told, festive periods can be stressful, because there are lots of expectations and if these expectations are not met, it is going to affect a relationship one way or the other. Much more importantly, the way the partners in the relationship handle the stress makes a whole lot of difference to the success or otherwise of that relationship.
In fact, it is a pointer to the health of a relationship. When partners are happy with each other, a stressful situation or a minor annoyance would lead to them finding their patient side and saying and doing things that will keep the relationship moving in a positive direction.
On the other hand, if either partner wants a break-up, she/he will see that as an opportunity to pick a fight, act indifferent to resolution, or simply be argumentative.
Those are strong signals a break up is imminent.
- Your social circle is not overlapping:
While it’s alright not to depend completely on your partner all the time, your social circle shouldn’t be two parallel lines.
Festive periods are the perfect time to blur the lines by attending social gatherings of each other’s friends but if you still do a lot of things separately and show absolutely no interest in doing any of these things together or either of you is throwing yourself into socializing, just to avoid each other, something might not be right after all.
When a person stops having the time or desire to be with you, then you know that your relationship is on life support system, and that you might just have to be the one who has the guts to pull the plug and say good bye.
- You both aren’t planning for the New Year:
What are couples to do for the New Year, if not plan? However, if you’re not excited about the year ahead together or if you’re not talking about it, that’s a red light flashing and saying your relationship’s expiration date is in sight.
Not making future plans, not wanting to make future plans is a great way to have a relationship fizzle out.
- You hate buying a present for your partner:
Even though it can be a little nerve-wracking trying to get it right, buying a gift for your partner should also be something you get excited about and look forward to; after all, it’s a way of showing them how much you care.
However, if buying a present just feels like a chore, then the relationship may have become one too. A chore, you have to do. Relationships are not meant to be like that. They are supposed to be enjoyed.
- You are meeting up your old flames:
All your old flames, who have gone under the radar, are now all suddenly in town and you are bumping into them, deliberately or not. Hanging out with them more than once, without your partner; hmmm, it smells fishy and looks like you are looking to escape your relationship.
It could also be your partner, who is actively seeking out and connecting with old flames and old flirts. Whoever it is, that action is a clear sign the relationship is on its last legs, just waiting for that kick that will send it to it grave.
- Hints, hints and more hints:
If either or both partners in a relationship are dropping hints about taking a break from the relationships or testing the waters with vague comments about the future of a relationship; that is a sure sign that things are going to break up sooner, rather than later.
And if it is happening during this festive period, better brace yourself for a holiday break up.
Truth be told, it is not an easy task to end a relationship. Hence, each partner would often wonder, of they are making the right decision. By dropping hints of their possible exit, they see their partner’s reactions which affirm or negate their need to seek an exit from the relationship.
In all, the festive period definitely isn’t the ideal time to break up, but if it happens, it’s probably because it was supposed to happen. It’s better to get it over with and actually have some time with your loved ones. So look out for the signs and decide what works best for you.
It’s going to be hard to answer, when your family and friends ask you about your partner, but you can also answer that he /she wants to spend time with their own family.
Whatever happen though, enjoy yourself. You are never going to get back the time spent moping.
Stay in love!
Kristine is a member of The Lovelint team. She is a down to earth person, who says it as it is. Having given relationship advice for years in a national daily, she has found out that fear is one of the main reasons holding people back from enjoying a healthy, happy relationship. She is married with kids and is willing to listen to you and help as much as you let her to.
7. Image by © Artiga Photo/Corbis