Resolution! Resolutions!!! We all know how it goes. For some, it’s a yearly ritual and some have long ago discarded it, tending to go with the flow instead. Some do it personally and some do it as a couple.
While, I have long given up on resolutions but come 2017, have I got some resolutions? Yes, I have and will be giving myself some head-start with the last week of 2016 and the first 21 days of 2017 to see how it pans out.
Moving away from personal New Year resolutions to couple’s New Year resolutions comes with benefits. Making resolutions as a couple bonds both partners and it comes with the bonus of having a ready accountability partner for the year.
This list of resolutions-for-two will help us, (yes, we are in this together) ring in the New Year with the right frame of mind, and keep our relationships groovy all year-long.
- Make sex a priority
Honestly, nothing bonds like sex does. However, when we’re busy, sex can become scarce or non-existent sef, but it’s not too good for your relationship, your health and your mood to skimp on sex for too long.
In the New Year, try and make time to reconnect with your partner in the sack by scheduling a weekend romp.
If the sex has become lackluster, put some energy into figuring out how to make it exciting again. Try a new position, a new toy, or just try a change of venue (kitchen, anyone?).
- Love yourself
I know, I said this is a couple’s resolution list, but hear me out. A relationship is like riding in a car with a passenger (your partner). There is a need to protect yourself with a seat belt first, in order to protect the bond you have with the person in the passenger seat!
If you do not love yourself enough, you will never come whole to the relationship you are building. Making your partner your ‘go-to’ person or ‘one-stop solution centre’ for all things in life can be harmful for you and your relationship.
As a relationship coach puts it, “Make sure you kick the butts of romantic/emotional/sexual comfort zones and sneak some time for yourself. Be it healthy eating, sweating it out at the gym or taking mental health breaks; make sure you are coming to the relationship as a well-balanced individual.”
However, comfort is no excuse for boredom and laziness; so don’t slack on your game and go trim your nose hair!
- Capture the precious moments
I recently found myself trying to scramble around to get just ten pictures of my DH and I for a couple fellowship business. And then it dawned on me, how little of our time together I capture.
At the end of the day, I came up with six images, asides from our wedding and pre-wedding pictures. That took searching the drives of old computers, of old SD cards and new ones.
It’s almost nine years of marriage. I need to do better.
So now you know why a seemingly simple resolution is on the list.
We almost always forget to capture our precious moments and then, always regret not having a tangible token of a thousand instances of the ‘day(s) when we …..’ Whether or not you like the selfie craze, keep clicking. You’re going to bless God for the pictures some day in the future.
- Criticize less; Compliment more
When you spend a lot of time with someone, it becomes easy to overlook the things that are great about them. Instead of dwelling on his bad habits, remind yourself of the reasons you fell for him in the first place. Then remind him!
Couples who have been together for a long time tend to forget to compliment one another. Try to dish out three compliments for every criticism, and don’t be shocked if he mirrors your actions. Shared appreciation breeds kindness and consideration, and what couple couldn’t use more of that?
- Reach for happiness with the triple H
According to a fellow New Year resolution enthusiast, Seyi, who has tried this recipe, “There is a reason why health, humour, and hobbies are my recipe for happiness. You know how important each one is – add to it the pursuit of each in the company of your beloved and lo, the output gets trebled! So, walk the treadmill while your hubby bench presses, laugh a lot over silly jokes and maybe, sign up for Salsa or a powerwalk.
Don’t believe me? Try the triple H-formula for your trebled dose of happiness in the New Year! (You can come thank me when it works!)”
Till the New Year, before I know whether I will be sending a high five or clapback, Seyi’s way.
While you’re trying the triple H, play together. Yes, I know it’s two adults, not children, involved here but you know what? The dullness of the workday world doesn’t have to extend to your personal life. Infuse your partnership with a sense of play.
Have pillow fights, talk in funny voices, and draw moustaches on the models in your lady mags. Do something creative together; a dance class, take a guitar class, whatever. Just do something.
Stepping outside of your routine can bring you and your partner closer, and it’ll ensure that things never get boring between you.
Those are five resolutions I think we all can use in the New Year to spice things up in our relationships.
Stay in love!
Kristine is a member of The Lovelint team. She is a down to earth person, who says it as it is. Having given relationship advice for years in a national daily, she has found out that fear is one of the main reasons holding people back from enjoying a healthy, happy relationship. She is married with kids and is willing to listen to you and help as much as you let her to.