It was in the news recently, how some women lamented labels like “sugar mummy” and “cougars” given to them, because they married men younger then themselves.
As usual, it is perfectly normal for a man to marry a younger lady. In fact, the younger the lady is, the more he is hailed as a virile man, who has good eyes for beautiful stuff.
But you know what, I know a few women who are married to younger men, and they have awesome marriages.
For one of my brother’s close friends, Bukky, who used to frequent our house back then, while we were younger, his mother is older than his dad by two years, and until he told us, my young mind wouldn’t have guessed by a mile. He said they didn’t even know for several years until something came up and the discussion turned to that area.
He and his brothers had been amused by the fact that their mom could punish their dad and treat him like the older ones among them treated the younger ones, but their mom quickly purged their minds of that thought, when she told them, he was first and foremost, her husband, and deserves all respect and honour.
She even asked them, if they had seen her punishing him. Of course not and till I no longer saw much of him, there was never any report of his mom pulling rank with his dad.
Another lady, Tope, is close to five years older than her husband, but blessed with a good stature and genes, she looks way younger. In fact, she looks the same age as his younger sister, whom he is older than by five years.
There was so much opposition to their union, based on their age difference. Tope’s family felt she was acting desperate and wanted her to wait for a man, who was older than she was, a man she would be able to respect naturally.
On her fiancé’s family’s part, the argument was she was going to be lording it over him the fact that she had more money, was older and was literally going to be marrying him instead of the other way round, never the fact they were marrying each other.
Not only the families were concerned about the age difference. Friends and even their religious leaders kept asking them if the issue of age was not going to be an issue. If they were sure they were going to make their marriage work.
Long and short of it is that, five years later, they are still married and have been blessed with two boys within that time. Tope is not lording it over him; in fact she isn’t actively working but relying on him for even the clothes on her back.
Those are just instances of couples who have made the older woman-younger man relationship work, but here are five years why it is not such a bad idea.
- Younger men are more optimistic
And we could all use some optimism in our lives! Rather than seeing a long face every time we look at our spouse.
Generally, younger folks are more likely to still believe in the innate goodness in the human race, they like to think that people can change and goals can be attained.
As the years go by and we age, we begin to lose the rose-tinted glasses and a great many of us are a lot less happy because of it.
If you bring a few slices of pragmatism to the table and he brings a few slices of optimism, you will create a delicious cake, which you both can enjoy.
That, you can have with a younger man; not a cynical jaded old man or even one of your age range. Life is not always about being practical, biko, let a girl day dream small.
- They are fun!
There’s a certain kind of fun that can only be had when you’re spending time with someone who isn’t afraid of embracing his inner young and foolish nature.
Okay, that is the reality for him and that can be infectious, because it is spontaneous, no previous thought and planning behind it. It’s the real deal and that is intoxicating.
Of course, if he’s jumping to nice music, I want to join in and hope that my hips don’t give out on me. Lol.
Younger men often times tend to live in the present, they don’t have the experience that comes with age, hence, they don’t over-think issues…they just do. And to just do: THAT is a beautiful thing.
- They have more stamina
To be sure, this sounds cliché but it is not really all about all-night sex. Not that it’s a bad idea, if you have the stamina and time.
The truth is, the attraction is beyond that. Younger men make great dads because they have the energy to chase after toddlers and rebound more easily after late nights changing diapers.
You wonder why it’s their parenting skills that are highlighted here…well; they are the ones more likely to help out with the children than older men.
- They come with less baggage
At the beginning of our lives, we are all like, Tabula raisa, a clean slate, but our experiences write on the clean slate, colours in some sides, shadows, lines, and other stuffs that life throws at us.
The older we get, the more crowded the board becomes. As it stands, the board of a younger man is less crowded, he probably hasn’t learnt how to hedge his bets yet, and his heart hasn’t been broken. He doesn’t have an angry ex in the corner or bring all those experiences to bear on your relationship.
Life is a lot simpler with such a person, at least I think so.
- They remind you to enjoy the moment
Younger men aren’t always looking 30 years into the future; they’re thinking about this weekend. While your younger spouse will benefit from your advice about why it isn’t always good to live for the moment, think about the comfort you will derive from being with a person who can teach you how to live in the moment and really appreciate the way that sip of wine tastes instead of thinking about calories and the gym time you will have to put in tomorrow.
If you are dating a younger man and you are both serious about settling down, let nothing and no one stop you.
Go ahead and enjoy your love and lives.
Kristine is a member of The Lovelint team. She is a down to earth person, who says it as it is. Having given relationship advice for years in a national daily, she has found out that fear is one of the main reasons holding people back from enjoying a healthy, happy relationship. She is married with kids and is willing to listen to you and help as much as you let her to.