I recently had cause to see so many faces from my undergraduate days, although the circumstances of our meeting could have been better, as we had gathered for the Service of Songs for a friend of ours who died.
However, you need to see the changes five years had made physically. One of our former lecturers kept scanning us and muttering, “You mean you can actually grow a pot belly?” “Whaaaat, you are this big?” . Even though there were the few of us remained just as we were when we left the four walls of that university.
You see the surprise that former lecturer of ours showed is exactly what some men feel after they get married. For some, it’s like they didn’t fully grasp the personality of the person they married, or marriage changed her. Either of the two but there is a shift. Now, it is another matter, whether, it is positive or negative changes. Some men shared with us some changes they noticed in their wives after marriage.
My wife wanted to wait a while before trying for babies- Tunde
For Tunde, he was hard pressed to find out that his wife didn’t want to start trying for babies immediately. He was like, “So what should we be doing in the meantime” His wife, Labisi, had laughed and said they would be enjoying themselves and getting to know each other better in their marriage.
Tunde and Labisi had dated for seven years before getting married, and he didn’t understand the need to know each other again but he’s getting it as the years go by.
“Of course my wife and I talked about kids while we were dating and engaged. It was important for us to know we were on the same page about that, because I’d always wanted kids. What we never really talked about until after tying the knot was the timing of it all. I wanted to start making babies immediately, and she wanted to wait a few years. My friends told me I was crazy, but I was ready.”
She doesn’t play with money – Douglas
For the two years Douglas and Eniola dated, he had no idea she was very strict with money and liked to budget for every single expense and projected her income. When Douglas really gave it a thought, nothing was ever in her budget except savings and more savings.
However, when he got married and she got hold of his credit cards, there were no more time for all those impulsive purchases of things he didn’t really need and there was someone to pull his ear and tell him, “You have been scammed.”
On the good side, Eniola knew where to get the best bargains and the right time to get it, and Douglas has learnt to save more. All thanks to his wife.
Hear him: “When you’re a single guy making a comfortable living, you tend to spend money on things you don’t need at all. And there’s no one there to call you an idiot. I didn’t realize that my wife would really pay attention to my frivolous spending once we joined bank accounts. It didn’t occur to me how vigilant she would be about money. But at the end of the day it’s a good thing—especially since she’s pregnant. I have to be more responsible.”
My wife is no domestic goddess – Alex
Alex is the first to admit to knowing his wife, while they were dating, wasn’t very handy around the house. In fact his wife needed a wife herself, or a housekeeper. She always lost track of things and would leave things half done, until he nagged her into doing it.
“I knew my wife was kind of messy, but she kept it in check for the year and a half we lived together before getting married. Once the wedding happened, we moved and it was like she flipped a switch. She’ll clean up after herself, but I have to nag at her about it. I’m not even much of a clean freak. Other than that, she’s awesome and I don’t know what my life would have been without her.”
My wife walks about the house nude – Ayoola
“I never suspected this. Not one bit. My wife, Tunrayo, was prim and proper, no hair out of place anytime I saw her. She was always decked out in her best and looking gorgeous. Imagine our first night together and she had come to bed naked. I was excited, I thought my babe was just as eager as I was for our first night together a husband and wife.
Alas, when it became a nightly routine, I asked and then she told me she doesn’t sleep with any nightwear. I wondered about all he nightwear gifts I had been buying her. She showed me a heap of them with their labels intact. I knew this was for real.
That was how we started. Now, she even walks around the house naked at times and as she’s pregnant now, I can’t express the excitement I feel about the new curves to her body I get to see often, because of her disregard for clothes.”
My wife is no pushover- Danjuma
When Danjuma had married his wife, he had thought he was marrying a pushover, as she always obliged with most of his instructions.
After marriage, it was a different case, his wife, Hafsat, wanted reasons for whatever actions their family of two would take. She puts forward her views and asks him out-rightly to consider them.
Danjuma was at first affronted by this seeming attack on his headship of the family but he soon got over it and whenever he gave some thought to her perspective, they were actually right. While ego stopped him in the beginning, he had no such inhibitions now, after 8 years of marriage and children.
Those are the changes which marriage wrought in the relationships of these men with their wives.
Lesson: Change is the only constant thing and your wife isn’t ever just one woman. If only men would use their imaginations!
There is more to meet the eyes where women are concerned.
Stay in love!
Kristine is a member of The Lovelint team. She is a down to earth person, who says it as it is. Having given relationship advice for years in a national daily, she has found out that fear is one of the main reasons holding people back from enjoying a healthy, happy relationship. She is married with kids and is willing to listen to you and help as much as you let her to.