I remember chatting with a friend recently, about how some female celebrities were getting married to their third and sometimes fourth husbands, and there are still so many single ladies around who have never been married…not even once. Don’t you ever wonder how they do it? How they are so attractive that men just want to not only date them, but also marry them? Some even have husbands younger than themselves.
This discussion led to the story of an Aunt of hers, who has been married thrice, has four children by three men and is even whining about wanting to get married again. The part that has her family dumbfounded every single time she wants to get married is the fact that, she always truly ends up getting married. These men pay her dowry, they come with gifts, and the last one even rented a large hall for their wedding reception.
Right now, my friend said her family elders have decided not to collect any more bride price on her head again. I guess their conscience is pricking them. How many times can you marry one single lady in her lifetime? The answer can go something like, “As many times, as she gets wants to get married.” Even tradition at times needs to be applied with some modicum of decency.
Even closer home, I have a sister who has been married twice and, incidentally, I had the “privilege” of reading the engagement letters both times. I have promised myself, there will be no third time, if it so happens again, then one of my grown nieces can do the honour, and my father has said, as far as he is concerned, he has married my sister for the last time.
By the way, she is a beauty queen, who can warm her way into your heart in less than a second, if she really sets out to do so.
As it is, I’m sure you know those mamas who are forever young and always marrying whereas, all the single ladies, who have not even been married once, are wondering, the type of juju these ladies do to snag all the eligible, single, no-babymama-drama bachelors, right under their nose.
I may not have all the answers to that but I know to some extent it is no juju! Some women just know how to snag a man more than some others. Same way some men know how to work the ladies, while their friends are looking on.
Here are a few tips to make you more attractive to the male folks and female folks as it may apply.
- Strive to always look your best
Before he or she talks to you, he has to see you, and how you look matters a lot in that regard. When you are single and searching, you don’t want to look like you feel, when you are feeling bad. I mean, you should aim to look like you want to feel. All loved and sweet.
Now, that doesn’t involve starving yourself to death with the aim of losing weight or spending so much time in the gym to gain some washboard abs. Those are not necessarily what would attract your potential partner.
You just have to make sure that your clothing, grooming, and physical fitness are not shabby, as they are essential in attraction.
It means you must have good hygiene, smell good, have a nice hairstyle, and keep a refreshing wardrobe, all within your budget range.
It is also important to stay as healthy as possible. The main rule is not to obsess about how you look, but make sure that you always look your best. If you look your best, you will attract the best. Shikena.
- Show positive personality traits
When your physical appearance attracts your potential partner, something has to hold his or her attention.
A great personality does that.
When it comes to dating, a single’s physical appearance is as important as her personality. Unfortunately, that is where some get it wrong. A man will not always love you because of your appearance. The truth is, beauty is but a dime nowadays. There are many beautiful ladies, and also buff guys, out there. The edge you need is your personality and it has to be a balanced and positive one.
Being kind, thoughtful, well-mannered and sympathetic of others are some traits that could help you snag that man or woman.
Ask the yummy mamas and the daddies, who are happily married now. Those are the ingredients they have been using to cook the soup of their marriage.
It also helps if you can make your date or partner laugh every now, while keeping an optimistic air about you.
You should always remember that a person who is pleasant, entertaining and positive, is an attractive person.
- Be proactive about dating
If you have been paying attention to the first two tips and have even arrived at the conclusion that, truly, you always do your best to look good and you have a great personality, and your partner is not just showing up. Sorry…there’s one more thing. You still have to get sell yourself.
Surely, you don’t think the ladies who get married for the fourth time, or the men who have a high ladies turnover rate, are not marketing themselves.
For some, it comes naturally and for some, they have to be deliberate about it. Whether, marketing yourself comes to you naturally or not, the job must be done. If it doesn’t come to you naturally, then you need a plan.
A plan on the places to go to showcase your first two traits, the activities that you need to engage in and the kind of social circle you need to move in. No need hanging out with married folks, when you are seeking a mate, unless they have many single friends of course, otherwise, let water finds it level.
Lastly, send the right signals if you have the chance. A friendly smile, eye contact, and a flirty touch usually do the trick. Don’t forget to work it.
And don’t forget to enjoy yourself while at it. Life is too short to be uptight and solely focused on one thing.
Stay in love and happy hunting.
Kristine is a member of The Lovelint team. She is a down to earth person, who says it as it is. Having given relationship advice for years in a national daily, she has found out that fear is one of the main reasons holding people back from enjoying a healthy, happy relationship. She is married with kids and is willing to listen to you and help as much as you let her to.
4. Mademe noire