When I got into the University, I was informed about the phenomenon called “October rush”. Even though I had resumed university sometime in April and looked nothing like a candidate for October rush, I found out it didn’t matter the month of the year. All that mattered was that Jambites (new students) were coming into the school system.
October rush refers to the scenario where older students swap their girlfriends for new ones, often Jambites. Sometimes, they don’t actually swap; they only seem to swap, taking advantage of the guile of the new students to rob them of their innocence.
That’s exactly what is going on in the online dating scene right now. January is one month in the year when people are so keen on changing their lives and several parts of it, including their relationship status. Ironically, just as January is the time when most singles are looking to settle down for real, it is also the month when lots of couples file for divorce.
Back to January rush, the stats from one dating site revealed that “The beginning of a New Year is the busiest time for them, and the first Sunday of the year always brings the largest surge in signups and site traffic.”
For a lot of people, including singles, January 1st can signify a new start. With many people ready to recommit themselves to finding someone special after the holidays, January is a great time to be looking for love.
For its part, Google Trends showed that “dating” is searched more for during the first week of the year, but Sunday is the most popular day to have a conversation, so to speak, with someone online.
Another popular dating community says it too has seen an increase in online daters at the start of the New Year. Sometimes, the increase is as high as a 60 percent increase in new singles coming to their site.
“It’s the beginning of a brand new year, full of new resolutions and hope for finding that perfect someone,” states Match’s blog. “What better time to start than now, during Online Dating Season, the busiest (and most successful) time of the year for online dating.”
With all of this revelation, it is important to position yourself well, if you are interested in making the most out of your online dating life.
When you want to start online dating, you have to be selective. It is not every dating site or app that’s perfect for you. In fact, having too many sites or apps can create confusion. You can try our love community for some love action.
It’s better to focus on one app at time and start conversations with potential dates to determine what someone’s personality really is, instead of quickly moving on the next potential, just because you can and because you have a larger pool of persons to select from.
Instead of cherry picking, focus on actually engaging with and setting up dates with people on one or two apps or dating sites, rather than swinging on five different ones.
While it is alright and even expected to have expectations of the kind of partner you want, you should also be realistic.
You have to be able to recognise what your general expectations are, and how different they are from your deal breakers.
If you are not sure what your deal breakers are, then it is not too late to start working on them. Deal breakers are qualities that would disqualify someone as a dating prospect, regardless of how many other wonderful traits they have. They are those things that you actively need in a relationship and which can lead to a break up if not received. Deal breakers are the things that you actually need and value as important.
They are not the same as the dreamy tall, dark and handsome or the curvy damsel specs. Those are just expectations.
However, turning down an amazing person because they’re not as tall as the person you thought you would like to be with, is pure crap. My humble advice is for you to look beyond the physical.
Don’t forget the goal or settle:
Because of the rush and the large pool from which to choose, many singles may be tempted to rush in and rush out with whatever (in this case, whoever), out of fear that they might not get another chance.
However, relationships have such a strong influence on our lives, so we should avoid making bad decisions. Therefore, feel free to give yourself permission to date without pressure.
Go on dates as though you are meeting new, interesting people, which you are. Forget the goal of finding ‘The One”, instead look at dating as a way to connect to like-minded people.
Not only will you be less stressed, you will also be able stop yourself from getting into a relationship you don’t actually want. Sure, it can be great to date around— and enjoy all that January has to offer, but it is not compulsory that you must be hitched at the end of it.
I know that’s not what you want to hear, but really, you will be better off single than settling for just anyone, all in the same of being in relationship.
Love yourself enough not to settle.
Enjoy the dating spree.
Kristine is a member of The Lovelint team. She is a down to earth person, who says it as it is. Having given relationship advice for years in a national daily, she has found out that fear is one of the main reasons holding people back from enjoying a healthy, happy relationship. She is married with kids and is willing to listen to you and help as much as you let her to.