Relationships aren’t always about the happy moments. Unfortunately, you sometimes find yourself in a situation where your relationship is put to the test. At times, when you look at the struggling relationship, you wonder if you are the problem. This is a question that is never easy to answer because the response may not be what we want. Then again, the truth is never easy to swallow.
These three warning signs can let you know if you are the problem.
1. You focus on the negativity when a problem arises.
It’s perfectly normal to feel like your relationship is testing your patience. What would life be without these challenges and obstacles? However, if you and your partner and are presented a situation that you can’t seem to look past, this is a sign you may be holding back your relationship.
Negativity doesn’t brew productivity, it eats you alive. If a problem arises and you can’t work with your partner or see past the mistake, you may be holding back your relationship without even knowing it.
2. You’ve cut the lines of communication.
I’m the first to admit that there are times when I dread communication. I become overwhelmed with my thoughts, which will often hinder my ability to talk. When you are in a relationship, communication is undoubtably the most important thing. It allows for you to both share the good and bad. When it is bad, communication allows you to work toward moving past it.
However, if you have suddenly cut the lines of communication and become unresponsive, you are indirectly putting your relationship on standby.
3. Your partner is looking ahead while you’re dwelling in the past.
It is so easy to dwell on the past, whether it be glorifying the good times or overthinking the bad. Sometimes you wish you could undo certain choices. However, the fact of the matter is, you are here in the present with someone who doesn’t care about the past. If you are constantly drawn to the “what-ifs,” your relationship can’t progress. No one likes the person who lives in the past, so why should you? Even if the past is positive, tread lightly.
Remember that guy in college who always talked about how great high school was? You do not want to be that person, regardless of the situation. Giphy When we enter a relationship we try to look for the good, never thinking that anything bad could happen. Unfortunately, the more invested you become and the more you open yourself up, the “bad times” become inevitable. Relationships are meant to be a combination of highs and lows.
When you go through these situations, you can see if your partner will be there, support you and despite it all, still love you. Feeling like you’re responsible for the impasse of your relationship or even the growth and future of your partner is never a good feeling. Whether it be a result of altruism or self-punishment, holding back your partner in a relationship or in life is never good.
You don’t want to keep someone you love from succeeding or being happy. Like the saying goes, if you love something set it free. If you find yourself holding back your relationship or partner, you need to evaluate if it is a personal problem or a relationship one that needs to be addressed. If you find yourself thinking this cannot be fixed, it might be time to say goodbye.