It is simply self-protection to avoid any single guy or lady that seem like they would merely toy with your feelings and let go.
You can view them as time wasters, heart breakers, play boys and what other names that come to mind but do you know that, while living without taking risks might seem such a safe choice, it is an even riskier lifestyle. You run the risk of ending up alone and deep down; no one really wants to be alone. Most people would prefer that they have someone to confide in, come home to, chat with and do all that coupley things with.
However, one thing is stopping you. You don’t want to get your heart broken. It’s too much pain right? I agree, the pain can be crushing but it could also be a source of strength too and an experience, which teaches you about love like nothing else would.
Solape found such love; it was deep, it was instantaneous, it brook no argument, she fell in love and fell hard for Donald. It didn’t matter that a tiny part of her mind, knew it was not going to end well. And it did but the 8 weeks, they were together was an utopia, no other boyfriend of hers has ever come close to evoking such feelings in her.
She lived and breathed Donald, he woke her, and he wouldn’t get off the phone, until she was asleep. It was intense; it heart ached, as her heart wondered how it was going to survive when he leaves.
In those weeks, he spoilt her silly, he became her lapdog, took her around town. Solape was alive. For the first time in years, Solape was alive. Donald was the one person, who could really turn her life upside down. Who could make her lose her mind. And he had a field day doing that, considering he had done it before and left.
Donald started to show signals, it was time he left, as he became suddenly unavailable. He wouldn’t call and he wouldn’t pick his call. It was during the end of the year that all this drama happened. Solape had never felt as lifeless, as listless as she did during that festive season. She did everything like a zombie; her heart was wherever Donald was.
She didn’t get over Donald in a day and if the truth be told, she still hasn’t gotten over him, even though, it’s been years. All he needed to do was come back into her life and she will be right where, he wanted her. But she’s learnt something from her Donald seasons; To love is to live!
Solape has other reasons too but they all revolve around the fact of loving to be alive, they are below:
It will make you more willing to try to keep the relationship
As earlier mentioned, Donald was coming back into Solape’s life for the second time and she so wanted it to work out. She gave it as much as she could, even though; it was so easy to do, because Donald reciprocated.
She recalled their first time together and what caused their break up. She tried not to do same again. For Solape, Donald coming back into her life was an opportunity for her to correct the mistakes of the past. Only it didn’t matter what she did or did not do. Donald wasn’t going to stay.
The honest truth is, once we break down our barriers and allow someone into our lives, magic happens. People can make us do odd things, and finding a special person, we know can break our heart, literally transforms our minds.
This single human can keep us in check because we value them so much, we don’t want them to go anywhere. If we had been a player, giving up being a player will look really attractive.
The unfortunate part is, we clean up our acts out of fear and that would not matter, if they really wanted to leave.
More conscious effort is made to keep the relationship strong:
It’s almost natural, when you are with someone, whom you know can break your heart, perhaps, because they seem out of your league or they are a lot more handsome or beautiful than you, you make more conscious effort to keep the relationship.
And conscious effort is what makes all successful relationships what they are. Relationships die out because people give up on making them work. Either partners stop caring whether there is a concerted effort made or not.
To make things work, we want to reassure our lover, they are important to us at all times. And that is where the conscious effort comes in.
Go for it:
While, it is so much easier not to want to be vulnerable and hand control of our lives or at least, our lives over to someone else, it is hugely rewarding.
Solape says, although, her episodes with Donald didn’t last, she would never trade the experience for anything and more importantly, it’s formed the basis for her future relationships.
Rather than become withdrawn and unwilling to take risk, Solape puts herself out there more and shows lots of love, like she had known and still hopes to know.
This whole concept of dating someone who has the power to break your heart isn’t so much about the heart-breaking part; rather it’s all about this person being different. Being so powerful that they could touch your heart… and perhaps, break it; but that’s what finding love is about – all or nothing.
Stay in love whatever you do!
Kristine is a member of The Lovelint team. She is a down to earth person, who says it as it is. Having given relationship advice for years in a national daily, she has found out that fear is one of the main reasons holding people back from enjoying a healthy, happy relationship. She is married with kids and is willing to listen to you and help as much as you let her to.